What is a golden child syndrome?

golden child syndrome


A “golden child syndrome” is a person who is seen as “special” by their family and chosen as a stand-in for a parent’s own brilliance and accomplishments.

In essence, this implies that the golden kid is constantly required to fulfill their parent’s wishes, regardless of whether they are in agreement with them, and is expected to be excellent at everything (even if those things don’t naturally come to them).

The golden child feels pressure from the parents: If they want to continue to receive the love, attention, and affection that are showered on them, they have to continue to achieve and behave as their parents want. This could make siblings resentful of one another and feel competitive.

In essence, despite the fact that all the kids may reside in the same house, they can all have vastly dissimilar life experiences since the golden child is assumed to be perfect. They are frequently used as a benchmark for how the siblings “should” behave and are frequently hailed as being flawless.

However, due of how that kid is treated within the family, hatred can arise amongst siblings since they are placed against one another and told they are “less than” or deficient in some manner. Siblings may not truly have anything against their golden child sibling.

Signs of golden child syndrome

Signs of this syndrome include:

·        A need to accomplish

Golden children may be a high achiever because it’s the only way the child get love and affection. They may put forth excessive effort to achieve it since they are expected to constantly live up to it.

Many golden children may have no dreams of their own since the expectations placed on them may be those of their parents. As a result, whatever objectives the golden kid attempts to fulfill based on their own wishes may feel alien to them and they may experience inward emptiness when doing so.

·        People-pleasing

Golden children may suffer from the disease to please because striving to please the parent is how they attempt to get their needs met.

·        Anxiety of failing

Golden children may be more likely to develop anxiety and depression because of the pressure to perform, achieve, and care for others.

Golden children frequently report feeling “parentified and limited in their ability to explore, make mistakes, and be uncertain since they inherit this urge to achieve before they are developmentally ready to and before they are able to face the difficulties that come along with that.

Effects of being a golden child

  • Being the favored child in a family can result in several long-term problems with friendships, relationships, parenting, employment, and overall self-worth and self-esteem.
  • The golden child becomes an extension of the narcissistic parent, which means never truly being known or loved for who you might be. Even the achievements of the “golden child” aren’t their own because their parents will almost certainly take credit for them.
  • The “golden child” who grows up and finds there is a disconnection between who they are as a person and how they are portrayed might experience a lot of worry.
  • Other effects include the difficulty of feeling content with “good enough” and the difficulty of creating a real sense of self. After all, it might be difficult to determine what you really desire if you were never aware of whom you were before your parents told you what to think. Golden children usually put in excessive hours and compete with others in the workplace.
  • The golden kid may experience difficulties if they do not receive excessive praise from others or if they receive negative or constructive criticism.
  • These results in an insecure attachment style where two possible outcomes might occur at once: either the golden kid becomes too people-pleasing and clingy, attaching themselves to their spouse for external validation, or the opposite scenario. Or when they shut down and seem distant when they get criticism.

Overcome: the effects of golden child syndrome

If you think you have parent who are having the golden child syndrome, know that there are methods to recover from its negative effects. Raising awareness is the first step to transformation because you need to acknowledge what causing you pains in order to change it.

It’s crucial to learn to know yourself as an adult with golden child syndrome outside of the person your parents expected you to be. Change your attention from being inwardly focused on pleasing your parents to being inwardly focused on pleasing yourself.

A mix of writing, meditation, Child Counseling, coupled with some space away from outer influences so you can truly go deep into your likes, dislikes, and wants, in order to uncover who you are and what you want.

If a Golden Child Fails

When a golden kid fails, they believe that they were not “good enough,” and as a result, they fear that their parents would no longer love and care for them. They will essentially feel unlovable.

This can subsequently result in a range of social or mental health problems, such as:

  • Depression and worry
  • People-pleasing,
  • withdrawal,
  • perfectionism,
  • self-sabotage,
  • unhealthy coping mechanisms like binge-eating or drug use, low self-esteem,
  • codependency,
  • narcissism,
  • insecure attachment patterns,
  • Lack of self-awareness.

Consider getting assistance from a mental health professional like Child Counsellor if golden child syndrome seems similar to you and you want assistance dealing with or sorting out how it could be impacting you. They provide a secure environment for you to express your emotions and can assist you in determining what issues you may want to work on.

Golden Child When They Grow Up

A golden kid may find it difficult to establish and sustain healthy bonds with others if they don’t get mental health treatment to assist them process the demands placed on them by their parents and get over golden child syndrome. They could also struggle with people-pleasing, automatically prioritizing their own demands over those of others.

Every scenario is different, and every person will have various problems after having been a “golden child.” Because of this, receiving tailored mental health care is helpful in managing the stress caused by golden child syndrome.

TalktoAngel is an Online Counselling platform that helps to provide customized Counselling for stress and anxiety due to golden child syndrome thus helping a golden kid to establish healthy boundaries, comprehend their value independent of what they do for others, and establish connections with the right guidance and support.

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